Aqualinia Waterpark

Probably the world’s best waterslide park.
Ms. Aqualine is the founding chairwoman of the Aqualine Corporation, which established the waterpark in 2019. The Aqualine Corporation is also renowned for its pool floaties which are sold worldwide. The pinkfish, sweds and osteops are particularly popular.

The park charges a single 24-hour entrance fee which allows the user to go on any of the 872 rides and eat and drink as much as they want in any of the 32 cafeterias and restaurants. Every ticket holder gets automatically entered into an annual lottery, the winner of which gets free lifetime entrance to the park for themselves and 1,000 close friends and family, plus a lifetime supply of Aqualinia Corporation floaties for all of them.

Entrance is free for people born on a Wednesday between 3 and 4pm (which is when Andrea Aquiline was born). An original waterproof birth certificate needs to be produced when applying for this concession.

Currently the most popular rides in the park are:

Ride 16: The Undulating Vestibule of Perfection
Ride 33: The Glandulated Chute of Rectification
Ride 84: The Vibrating Magoon of Awesomeness-ness
Ride 111: The Imbroligiated Massala of Excoriation
Ride 274: The Discombobulating Palisade of Nothingness
Ride 481: The Obnibulating Elongation of Suggestivosity
Ride 683: The G’snickulated Paternoster of Woff-osity
Ride 872: The Ossifying Carbuncle of Wemm-sniffication