Fieldguide – Trees & Plants

Carrot 27b

Famous for being the world’s largest carrot.
Estimated to be over 18 feet long.
And it’s still growing.
Planted and grown by Mrs. Hogmanny-Hog-Mahomm, who is believed to have sung to it for over an hour every day, in its own language (Karrotsch).
Because she speaks over 300 vegetable languages, she has actually translated the full Harry Potter series into Karrotsch. Very few people know this. She read it to Carrot 27b when it was still small.

The world’s second largest carrot is Godiva the Magnificent, grown by Thorborg Vendilkráka, arch rival of Mrs. Hogmanny Hog-Mahomm. At 17 feet tall, Godiva the Magnificent poses a direct threat to World’s Largest status of carrot 27b.

Thorborg Vendilkráka takes a very different approach to carrot husbandry. He keeps Godiva the Magnificent above ground, in a CCV (Customised Carrot Vestibule). At night, Godiva the Magnificent is taken out of the CCV and sleeps bunk bed above Thorborg.

Godiva the Magnificent gets three daily massages and is taken for a walk every day after feeding time.

The World Carrot Measurement Society (WCMS) has raised questions about the technical legality of using a CCV, but to date its use has been allowed. Thorborg Vendilkráka says there’s nothing wring with using it and that it gives Godiva the Magnificent no additional advantages.

Hammaphore Tree

Several Hammaphore trees grow in Moremi Forest adjacent to Swedhump Elementary. Each one is said to be over 500 years old. Every Hammaphore tree has a secret doorway into a passage which connects to all other Hammaphore trees on the planet. This is known as the Hammaphore System. Dash and Rob are the only people who know this. Or so we believe.

Smellephant Grass

Smellephant Grass is a fast-growing, tall, greeny-yellow grass that can be found on open plains, tundra and savannah. Also in suburbs. And on mountains, in valleys, near lakes and oceans. So pretty-much everywhere.

Smellephants love it because they can hide in it, it gives great shade, tickles their backs, tastes delicious, and smells pretty good too.


The language spoken by carrots.
Mrs. Hogmanny-Hog-Mahomm speaks it fluently, and has translated the entire Harry Potter series in to it.


Smushrooms are like mushrooms.
But better.
They taste of chocolate.
They grow on the eastern fringes of the Moremi Forest.

Hammaphore System

The Hammaphore System is the secret underground network that connects all Hammaphore trees on the planet. Distances inside the System are 1/100th the size of distances in the outside world. This means travel inside it is really quick and efficient.

Tunnels and intersections are very well signposted, so it’s almost impossible for a System Traveler to get lost. When new Hammaphore trees grow, the signposts automatically update. Lighting in the tunnels is provided by natural soil phosphorescence, so no flashlights are needed.