Bear Dryer

A bear dryer is like a hair dryer but [a] it’s a huge one and [5] it’s used for drying bear hairs instead of human hairs.
If you have a wet bear, point the dryer towards it, turn the snozzle to setting 14, and activate. Either walk around the bear once every thirty seconds or ask it to do slow, full rotations over 30 seconds, and it will be completely dry after 4 rotations. Also very useful for melting ice.

The Bear Dryer was invented by Carol Rondebosch after the Great Dry-bear Jamboree of 2016. Ms. Rondebosch brought her bear (Eric) to the Jamboree and was expected to win. Just a reminder, a Dry-bear Jamboree is an annual competition to see who has the driest bear. Eric was so big that when he sat in the car, his head would poke out through the sunroof. It was quite a funny sight to see this little lady with a huge bear in the car.

Anyway, on the way to the Jamoboree, Eric needed the bathroom, so they stopped at a gas station. The man who worked at the gas station had never seen a real live bear before and started to scream. Eric then panicked and locked himself inside the gas station bathroom. The fire department needed to be called to extricate him, but the fire truck broke down on the way. A rescue service needed to be called to rescue the fire truck, but the rescue truck also broke down.

Luckily Carol Rondebosch had a roof-smasher in her car, and so used that to smash through the roof of the gas station bathroom to rescue Eric. At that point Eric was really not happy, and went into a huge sulk. He reluctantly got back into the car but refused to even look at Carol, and sent her quite clear signals that he was not prepared to participate in the Jamboree.

They then drove past a lake. Carol knew Eric loved swimming, and so did a deal with him: If she stopped to let him swim, he’d do the Jamboree. He agreed and had a lovely swim. Carol had a plan, she knew he’d be wet after the swim, and so while he was in the water, fiddled with the car heater so it would blow really, really, really, really hot.

After the swim, a wet Eric got back in the car. His head, sticking through the sunroof, soon dried. Inside the car meanwhile, the heat was on full blast, and Eric didn’t notice anything. By the time they got to the Jamboree stadium, Eric was totally dry, and of course, he won! Carol Rondebosch decided afterwards to build a dedicated bear-dryer for future Jamborees, just in case, and so that’s where they come from.

Any other questions?